Know Your Worth with Tiffany Dyba
In this episode of Good Enough For Now, we talk with recruiter, career coach, and cancer survivor Tiffany Dyba about her career trajectory, her breast cancer diagnosis, and the lessons she’s learned about the value of time along the way.
After working over a decade in recruitment offices in the healthcare and fashion industries, Tiffany is now a dedicated career coach and consultant who helps people realize their professional calling and works with organizations to identify and attract top talent.
Tune into this episode to hear first-hand how Tiffany has redefined her relationship to time management, idealized control, and the value of self-worth as she embarks on her 4oth year of life.
LISTEN NOW
Here are three reasons why you should listen to this episode:
Enhance the value you place on your time and in yourself.
Learn how to overcome imposter syndrome.
Find reassurance to take the next step forward (or back) in your career.
Highlights
We chat with Tiffany just weeks after her fortieth birthday, amidst writing a memoir about her breast cancer diagnosis in 2018 and the subsequent search for her birth-father as a result.
I was made whole after that process.
Tiffany began her career in recruiting but eventually felt stagnant in her career after working there for many years. She reached a turning point when she moved from Cleveland to New York with her husband, Steve, and began working in recruiting at Tiffany & Co.
Even after accepting and excelling at her corporate job and building her network in New York, Tiffany still dealt with imposter syndrome. But with experience, she learned to overcome that feeling.
It is feeling very comfortable with what I'm doing professionally and personally. And that energy is something I can't describe, but it's something I've felt probably consistently over the last few years.
Part of what helped her diminish that feeling was leaning on people she trusts (like Stephanie) to build her confidence.
Sometimes you need somebody else to help you really realize your potential and what you can offer.
After chatting with Harper Spero and assessing her strengths and dislikes, she realized she had the drive and potential to start her own career coaching business.
People often ask me how I decided to make that choice.…For me, it was realizing what I was missing in my jobs, which was like stifled creativity and this flexibility to do other things that I really enjoy in my life.
Eventually, Tiffany made the switch from full-time recruiting at a big company into career coaching.
In March of 2018, six months after she launched her business, Tiffany got diagnosed with breast cancer. She subsequently went on autopilot mode. She was undergoing treatment and traveling around New York City meeting with up to 5 clients a day.
I didn't really get a chance to experience cancer while I was going through everything…I wanted so badly to feel normal and make money and like not let things drop.
When her treatment ended in 2019, she had a difficult time navigating her new normal and getting back into her business.
Cancer begins when it ends, because then you're really supposed to just sit with the fact that you just went through a bunch of shit and what the hell happened to you.
Her journey with her diagnosis and survivorship has forced Tiffany to confront the fear of not being in control of her life and her body head-on. Even though she is now healthy, she is unable to shake off the feeling of not being in control of her own body.
I am the poster child for struggling with survivorship...I've had multiple panic attacks, debilitating panic attacks that have affected my work and affected my life. I think nobody could have prepared me for that year after and what to expect.
In order to fully confront that fear, anxiety, grief that cancer creates, Tiffany found it imperative to carve out space for herself.
That's the hardest part–holding space for yourself.
I really listen to my internal monologue when I need to do that. And that took time. That took time. And that is still a work in progress.
Holding that space allowed Tiffany to realize the most valuable thing she possessed was her time.
I think my time is worth more than whatever someone will pay me on planet earth…Time is worth everything to me because there was a time in my life I didn't think I had that much of it.
Another turning point for Tiffany was the pandemic. She found herself freelance recruiting--something she told herself she had left behind when she started her business. She fought against this, but eventually decided to lean into it.
I don't have to be tied to one thing forever…I just kind of relinquish that control and just let it all cap in the way it was supposed to.
But again, it's about the time for me. And it's about being able to just do things on my own terms. I think there's nothing better for me.
What Good Enough For Now means to Tiffany:
I sort of lived in the world for most of my life of like not feeling good enough…it was really sort of around like, how will I be good enough to do that job? Or like get that accolade? or like do that thing? Always just like chasing that feeling of being good enough. And for me, I think again, what we were talking about, is I finally feel like that. I also like don't care if I'm not in many ways too.
ABOUT
Tiffany Dyba is a dedicated career coach and consultant based in New York City. She enjoys helping people realize their professional calling, and works with organizations to identify and attract top talent so they can effectively grow their business. As a career coach, Tiffany helps her clients navigate career changes and transitions so they feel fulfilled and enjoy success at work.
Tiffany uses a mix of hands-on techniques and customized goal-setting strategies to help each client she works with achieve their aspirations. As a consultant, Tiffany offers her wisdom and experience to help each company she works with attract, retain and manage top talent. She educates businesses about best practices, develops tailored hiring solutions, and provides interview training. Prior to her work as a coach and consultant, Tiffany spent more than a decade working in recruitment across industries such as healthcare and fashion for well-known companies like Burberry and Tiffany & Co.
Full Transcript
Stephanie (02:29): We had such a fun and reflective interview with Tiffany Dyba. She's somebody we both know from our creative writing group. And we were so excited to get to know her better when we spoke with her about her career, her personal life and her newfound outlook on how to create value and space for herself.
Harper (02:56): So here's a little bit about Tiffany. Tiffany Dyba is a veteran recruiter with experience working with luxury retail, direct to consumer eCommerce brands and healthcare startups. She specializes in working with teams to develop their recruitment strategies and guide them to find the best candidates available. After being diagnosed with breast cancer at 35, Tiffany launched a blog and Instagram account called CDRE cancer. Doesn't rule everything around me to document her experience living with cancer and especially survivorship. Tiffany has been featured in a variety of publications, including the New York times, the wall street journal business, insider the muse and thrive global. Now here's our conversation with Tiffany Dyba. Welcome TIFF. So happy to have you here.
TIffany (03:48): I'm so happy to be here. I am elated if you will.
Harper (03:53): Oh, that makes us so happy. Tell us where you are in your life right now.
TIffany (03:59): Where am I in my life right now? Well, I'm in a lot of different places. I guess I'll start with career wise. I run my consultancy for high growth startups and help them hire and find the best talent. And that's kind of taken a pivot, which I'm sure will talk about, you know, from where I originally started, uh, on owning my own business, personally, cancer survivorship, and trying to write this book and finish this book. Oh my goodness. Gracious. And live my best life. Post 40 I'm 40 years old in two weeks.
Stephanie (04:35): You're counting that out.
TIffany (04:36): Yeah. Like I'm 40 in two weeks.
Stephanie (04:39): And so for people who don't know about your book, because Harper and I are part of the writing group with you. So we know about your book, you do, what type of book are you writing? And what's about.
TIffany (04:50): Yes. Thank you for asking. It is a, it's a rags, a slightly nicer rag story. No, I'm kidding. It is a memoir that basically talks about how my breast cancer diagnosis in 2018 really spring boarded, these burning questions about you know, who my birth father is and where did I come from? And, uh, really a lot of questions that sort of were festering below the surface throughout my life. And then when you're faced with your own mortality sitting in a genetic counselor's office and asked a lot of questions about your family history, you start really kind of thinking about that. And, and then that just sort of propelled me into this wild search and, you know, I, I kind of, I was made whole after that process, I would say. And, um, that's sort of where the transformation lies in lay book.
Harper (05:47): I haven't heard you say those words feeling whole and so powerful.
TIffany (05:52): I came up with that just now. <laugh> isn't that cool? Isn't that cool? How that happens on this podcast?
Stephanie (05:58): We are here for it, thinking about looking back at events in your life that happen if you're still going through them and you know, you just said you've emerged kind of whole, maybe there was no concept to discuss yet until you got to this point, right? I mean, you kind of maybe had to go through the rest of it to get here.
TIffany (06:21): Yeah, that's true. Because I think we've, we've all heard like the age old thing when writing a memoir is like, should we write it real time? Do we need the distance from things? And I think both of those things can be true. You know, Danny Shapiro wrote inheritance real time and she's definitely somebody I admire. And both of you do too. I know, but some of that stuff of course was written real time. And, but I think now that I have the distance from it, I am able to reflect on what that means for me present day, which is cool
Stephanie (06:54): And not easy.
TIffany (06:56): No,
Stephanie (06:56): Not easy to go through both your health challenge with your cancer diagnosis and amidst that, having to go through this discovery of your birth father and what that means for your family. So mm-hmm, <affirmative>, you are here, so you've earned 40,
TIffany (07:12): Oh,
Stephanie (07:13): Earned a few times over
TIffany (07:14): I've I've earned it. Sometimes I feel like I'm 80, but I'm only 40 and two weeks,
Stephanie (07:20): Speaking of celebrations and milestones, it's not like your book and cancer are the only two things that have ever happened in your life.
TIffany (07:28): No,
Stephanie (07:28): There have been quite a few other things and you aren't from New York city, which is where you are now talking to us. Correct. So tell us a little bit about what are some of those milestone points that you experienced that are, you know, along the way of getting to whole, that really stand out to you, that you could talk about how they made an impact in your life.
TIffany (07:55): There's a couple, like really big moments. I think moving to New York definitely is one of them because I grew up in small town, uh, outside of Cleveland, Ohio, born and raised, there went to college, not far from there, my husband's from there, you know, we bought a condo there. I mean, and so by and large people who grow up there, like a lot of people don't leave. Some of my best friends still live there and they have beautiful lives and children and families, and I love them and obsessed with them, but I just knew that like, wasn't our path. And I say our path because Steve and I have like, fought against what we should do versus what we wanna do for most of our twenties, I would say. And part of our thirties, you know, I am very candid about this and you guys will read this in the book, but there was a lot of back and forth.
TIffany (08:49): For example, Steve and I talking about having kids and you know, in the beginning I really pushed for it. And Steve was like, no, we don't have to do this just because everybody else is doing this. And he was wise beyond his years back then. And I was like, no, we have to. Because so and so down the street is doing this and this person has this house with this car. And I was like chairman and CEO of the, we should be doing this club. And Steve was like, never that way. And so when we got the call that Steve got this promotion to move here and he works for target and he's been there 16 years, LinkedIn alerted me of that yesterday. And I sent him like a screenshot of it. And he was like, you didn't wish me, congratulations on LinkedIn. I'm offended. And I'm like, please, you like never go on LinkedIn. Your, your photo's hideous. Like we need to do something about this whole thing,
Stephanie (09:39): Spoken like a real recruiter. I was
TIffany (09:41): Like, I hate this profile. So like, no one's ever gonna look at this, but we moved here. And this was like one of the turning points because I was feeling really stagnant in my job. And like, I worked with people. I love, like I worked with a lot of friends, but I just felt like my career wasn't going anywhere. It was kind of just like, eh, I was recruiting for, um, a healthcare company. And the biggest reason I loved working there was like, I was super close with a lot of people that worked there and we had a blast, but I just felt career wise. I wasn't going anywhere. And Steve's career was just flourishing. And I, there was definitely some resentment there where I was just like, Ugh, like my career's not like doing anything. His career's going all these places. I don't even know what I wanna do. Boom. We moved to New York in 2011 and a lot of people kept saying to me, oh, ha ha ha. You'll be like the girl that's named Tiffany that works for Tiffany and company. And people kept saying that to me. And I'm like, Tiffany, and company's never gonna like, even look at my resume. I'm like from small town, Ohio working for companies that they have no idea that aren't relevant and low and behold, like I did get a job there <laugh>
Stephanie (10:54): It was like manifest destiny in some way. So we, your mantra at all
TIffany (10:59): <laugh> yeah, exactly. Like everyone was like, this is gonna be you. And I was like, that's hilarious. And thank you for your confidence, but like, no, it will not. And it was because I found a recruiter job online on LinkedIn and just started writing messages to anybody in HR. I saw and someone wrote me back and said, oh, this isn't a job I'm working on, but I'll send it to the recruiter. And he did. And the recruiter called me, the recruiter happens to be one of my closest friends to this day. She worked not only there with me, but she also worked at Burberry with me. And she's the one that hired me at Tiffany. So it's like was definitely like a meant to be situation.
Harper (11:39): What was that transition like for you moving from small town, Ohio to New York city? Did you have people there or was it once you and that, you know, you could,
TIffany (11:54): Yes. So my college roommate lived here. I had like some friends here, so definitely had a network, but one of the things that was interesting to me is like, I just thought I would move here and I would just hang out with the same people all the time that I knew that lived here and it would just be, you know, like that. And it wasn't like I had to definitely make my own network and create my own network. And so I made a lot of friends at work. I always have, um, I've always taken a few besties along with me. I know you're probably the same, you know, but I think like transition wise, I remember like starting at Tiffany and company and feeling like, like I felt imposter working there for a while because I was like, why would they hire me? Like, I mean, am I even qualified to be hiring these people that, you know, work on? Because I was hired originally to work at the flagship on 57th and fifth, that's a beast that deserves its own recruiter to hire on the different floors. And I was like, I've never done this. Why are they asking me to do this? And so I don't actually think my imposter syndrome about working at amazing companies left until I like started my home business.
TIffany (13:09): It, it took me a while to be like, yeah, no, I, I got this. I'm good. It, that took me a really long time.
Stephanie (13:15): It's interesting. You bring up the word imposter syndrome because actually in prepping for a different conversation, I had run across an article about the different types of imposters in imposter syndrome. And there's, you know, one that is the perfectionist, somebody who everything has to be perfect before you feel comfortable. There's the expert, right? Their fear is I'm not gonna know enough. People are gonna think I'm stupid. There's the superhuman. Well, I can do everything and anything there's, you know, the self critic, like putting themselves down before they even try,
TIffany (13:52): Oh, I'll sign up for that
Stephanie (13:53): One. Ding is, did I get you on that one? OK, perfect.
TIffany (13:56): <laugh> yeah. I'll take self credit for 500 Alex. That's me.
Stephanie (14:02): <laugh>. And from what you just described there, you were in all these new and uncomfortable situations and you developed, I don't know, what would you call it? Confidence or just the experience that got you over the hump
TIffany (14:17): Experience? For sure. I still say this to Steve sometimes. Like if I am like being considered to work with a new client or this or that, and I'll always be like, well, I don't know if I'll get this. Like, it's not like I, and Steve's like, you get most things that you try for Tiffany. And I was like, do I though? And he is like, yeah. So like, why do you still say that? And I don't say it as often anymore, but sometimes I find myself saying that or like when it comes to writing, I think this is why I haven't like submitted a piece like a standalone in a while because I'm just like, well, I'm not like in the mood for rejection today. And Steve's like, okay, well, but you know, and so I think I lost my train of thought, but basically what I'm trying to say is that I think it is experience. It is feeling very comfortable in my skin. It is feeling very comfortable with what I'm doing professionally and personally. And that energy is something I can't describe, but it's something I've felt probably consistently over the last few years.
Harper (15:22): So what's interesting about this is that you acknowledged that you didn't really see your value working for other people, but then you decided to go out on your own, which clearly you have to have some level of confidence yeah. And awareness that you were capable of serving people and working with people. Yeah. And you were gonna get a new level of recognition and acknowledgement for the work that you do. I know the inside scoop because we were working together in those days, but can you share with our listeners a bit about that transition from full-time recruiting into career coaching and ultimately freelance recruiting?
TIffany (16:02): Well, first of all, everyone needs a, you can I just say that, you know, I owe so much to you, uh, in that way, because sometimes you need somebody else to help you really realize your potential and, and what you can offer. Remember, I wasn't even considering going off on my own, I just wanted to find a job in a new industry doing the same thing. And you were like, mm, but for the, for all intents and purposes, I mean, I think that transition for me while scary. And it was always just felt like the right thing. Like once I committed to that, you know, and we had been working together three or four months at that point, I think once I committed to that, I was like, oh, there's like, no other option. Like I have to do this. And like something just clicked and people often ask me like how I decided to make that choice.
TIffany (16:52): And I just think for me, it was realizing what I was missing in my jobs, which was like stifled creativity and this flexibility to do other things that I really enjoy in my life. And, um, you know, working for Tiffany and working for brewery were like fantastic places to work. Like, I mean, honestly from the leaders to the coworkers, to the things that I got to do, like I'll never ever say anything bad about it because it was just great. But I think for me, I, I think I was just on borrowed time working for someone else. And I think I realized that working with you and seeing how you kind of set up your day to day harp, and I was just like, oh, and then realizing some of my strengths in my current job or the job that I was in around just I'm like I'm recruiting and I'm helping people find jobs. And like, why couldn't I just do that for people looking like, it just made sense to me after a, a while. And it was just like such a big moment when I realized it. And you were like, okay, now we can focus on helping you start your own thing.
Harper (17:57): What's really interesting about that time. And I can tell you exactly where I was sitting in my apartment when we had this exact conversation. But I remember what stands out to me is you said, I need to tell you something. And I said, what? And you said, I want your job. I wanna do what you do. And I think you came to me with an approach of, oh my God, this is a bit scary to say. And also is this like a threat to you? And interestingly at that time I was doing career coaching. Yeah. And that's what you wanted to get into. And because of our work together, and me believing in you and realizing that you had the ability to launch this business, mm-hmm <affirmative>, I started focusing more on business coaching because I realized there were people like you and some of our mutual friends. Yes. You had more skills in HR and recruiting than I did, and that you could provide more value to clients related to career than I could. And I was better serving, you know, entrepreneurs. So it really worked out for both of us in the end. And it was so cool to watch that transformation happen in real time.
TIffany (19:06): Gosh, I know it seems like so long ago
Harper (19:09): It was,
Stephanie (19:10): It reminds me of there's some cliche, right? About you get sent the people that you need without knowing it.
TIffany (19:19): Mm. I believe it.
Stephanie (19:21): The aha moments seem to come from that beautiful exchange that you guys just explained, which is just made me so happy listening to, so it's all going well, you've created this new job and role for yourself and then something unexpected happens.
TIffany (20:18): Yes. So then six months after I launched the business, I got diagnosed with breast cancer. So to me, I do feel that the universe was like sending me into like a more flexible schedule for a myriad of reasons that being one, because I think what I would've tried to do if I had cancer and was working a very demanding job in fashion is I would've just like ignored me and like tried to be there for my team. I had a fairly big team. Um, that reported to me, I was traveling a lot. I would've just been like, Nope. And that is how I used to operate at all times. Um, nothing really came before work for a long time for me, but getting diagnosed while running my own business on the downside, you know, you're not making money when you don't work. So there's one, but it allows you the flexibility to really take care of yourself and do things the way they should be done.
TIffany (21:24): So I get diagnosed. It was March 8th, 2018 over the phone, you know, so if you ever watch, like, I'd write about this in my book, if you ever watch movies where you see like the big diagnosis scene and they're like in a, like a doctor's office and they're like showing them slides on the computer and you're, it doesn't happen that way. Many people get diagnosed over the phone nowadays. Most people, me one you two. Yeah. Okay. So yeah, I mean, and then from then on, I was on like autopilot. So like most of 2018 was autopilot for me. And so what I mean by that is, you know, I didn't really get a chance to experience cancer while I was going through everything. Um, and I really talk a lot about this and the book as well, and I'm not shameless plugging my book. I'm just realizing that there are so many things that come up out that I talk about in there.
TIffany (22:14): But one of them being that, you know, 2018 was very much like a surgery appointments, appointments, appointments, radiation, chemo, more appointments exchange. So it's like, I was just going through all these motions and, you know, being a very task oriented person. That's where I live and thrive is like, oh, I've got this. And then I'm gonna meet two clients and then I'm gonna go rest and then I'm gonna go to acupuncture. And so I was living in that sort of like mode for the entire 2018, um, chemo every third, Thursday. Okay. This weekend I'll be doing nothing. And this, you know, and honestly like thinking back, there was a time period when I was going through chemo and it was through like that really hot summer in New York. And I remember I saw like five or six coaching clients and like one day, and this was before I had a co-working space.
TIffany (23:07): So I was like bopping to different neighborhoods. And remember when I did that harp where I would just like go to different neighborhoods and meet people. And you were like, why are you doing this? And I was like, I don't know, that's sustainable unsustainable. And I just was doing it. And I was also going through cancer treatment. And I remember sitting at a shake shack on like the upper side, because I had chemo the next day. And I'm like, I'm getting fries in a shake because I was so depleted. And I was literally so tired from seeing clients all day and I was supposed to have chemo the next day. And I was sitting at the shake shack and I was like, why am I seeing all these clients when I like have chemo? But I wanted so badly to feel normal and make money and like not let things drop and then treatment ends.
TIffany (23:50): And then that puts me into a different spiral of like the hardest year to date, which was 2019, which was like the first year out of treatment. And that's why I say cancer begins when it ends, because then you're really supposed to just sit with the fact that you just went through a bunch of shit and what the hell happened to you. Um, and now what are you supposed to be? And everyone's looking at you and treating you with kid gloves and how are you feeling? And like those things. And you're just like, and you know, they're well intentioned people. I mean, I am surrounded by the best of the best. All of my friends are great, but you feel so much like everyone's always like watching you and waiting for something to happen and you're also waiting for something to happen. And so I had to figure out how to navigate through that new normal while also trying to like get back really into my business and really figure out how to live in this new world.
Stephanie (24:54): Gosh, I mean, I, I can't imagine. I mean, I know I've, I've read some of what you've written about it. I can't imagine all the different emotions and numbness that were going on for you trying to get through all of that coming out of that. You'd been somebody who you said, you know, you were great at task managing, you know, oh yeah. Being in control of your schedule, doing all the things and going out on your own and just really grabbing onto the next goal that you had. And then here you are faced with this trauma of cancer and then getting through that, how did you reconcile how to have control over things in life or how to feel in control and the loss and the grieving for what you went through
TIffany (25:40): That does not go away? Like, I don't think I'll ever be satisfied with not having control over or feeling like I don't have control over my body. And I don't think any of us really do to an extent, right? Like we all don't know a hundred percent what's going on under the hood. We can only imagine we're okay. You know, for me where the anger and I do mean anger sets in, you know, symptoms just aren't symptoms anymore. Like you fall down these rabbit holes and then you get very angry thinking, well, gosh, like before cancer, this would've just been a headache to me and I would've moved on or this would've just been back pain and I slept on my neck wrong. And like, now I just like, don't get that luxury. And it's not so easy to just shut that part of your brain off and say, you're probably fine.
TIffany (26:29): You're probably fine. I've gotten a lot better about talking myself off ledges. I will say that. And part of that is medication, but the other part of that is just time, but I still can't fully grapple with the fact that I don't have control over my body and what happens to it. And I talk about this in therapy. So often with my therapist, she's probably like pick something else to talk about, uh, for the love of God, me not having control. And I think this is a real thing for a lot of people is very, very challenging. You know? Like I envy those people who are just like, so chill where they're like, yeah, like whatever happens, happens. I would love to be a, whatever happens, happens person, but that is just not who I am.
Harper (27:14): Do you feel like when you are in active treatment, there was any sort of education around what the after would look like? You know, you ring the bell, which is such AOUS time in a cancer journey, but did you have any clue or were you educated on what could happen next?
TIffany (27:34): There needs to be resources around this a hundred percent because so many people struggle with survivorship. So many people, me included. I am the poster child for struggling with survivorship. I, I am, I've had multiple panic attacks, debilitating panic attacks that have affected my work and affected my life. And, you know, I, I think nobody could have prepared me for that year after and what to expect. And so I do think more resources need to be kind of put into that post-cancer world because gosh, that is such a mind. Fuck. It really is. There's no way to describe it. Other than that,
Harper (28:27): I can speak to it on the chronic illness front of thinking about the number of people who I have talked to, who go through a surgery or a certain milestone in their health. And it's expected that, you know, you get through the surgery all good next day, you're recovered and that's it. There's nothing else after that. There's no education from doctors. There's no social workers, there's no therapist sitting there waiting for you to go, all right, I'm ready to melt. Here's everything that I'm dealing with.
TIffany (28:56): Mm-hmm <affirmative>
Harper (28:58): How do you manage navigating everyone? Else's stuff related to breast cancer and the amount of loss that you've had in recent years from the community and how to hold space for others, but also ensure that you're taking care of yourself.
TIffany (29:19): Oh, that's the hardest part is holding space for yourself. Like I've gotten better at that. I would say at first this stuff affected me so much and I made other people's stuff my own and then started to worry that this would happen to me or my prognosis is similar or my situation is similar. And there have been some moments where that has been really, really challenging and have sent me into full tail spins of just anxiety. And then I feel guilty because I'm like, this isn't about me. This is about someone else. And like what they're struggling with and why am I internalizing this and making it my story. And then like grieving for myself when really this has nothing to do with me. And so then I would feel really guilty about that. So I would keep that to myself. And then that would just kind of snowball into like something else.
TIffany (30:16): It's just a lot, I think now I know when I need to take breaks. And that's why I think from the beginning, that's why I have two different Instagrams. I think some people have just one and it's a lot to manage too. C dream is my other Instagram and that is just all awareness Cancery stuff. And if I like feel stressed about something or exhausted, I just won't go on that feed until I'm ready. Um, I used to not do that. I used to be like, I have to post down here every day and I have to like, have something very profound to say about cancer every day. And now I'm just like, you know what? Sometimes being profound is saying nothing at all. And sometimes I have nothing to say about the matter a good friend of ours in the community passed away a few months ago.
TIffany (31:12): And she used to say, I don't do cancer on the weekends. And we used to always laugh about it because we would be like, huh, there's something to that. Because like, sometimes she would just go Mia and people would be like, where you been? And she would be like, oh, I don't do cancer on the weekends. And I'm like, facts. I love it. And so I've kind of adopted that in, in a different way. Like if I just am not feeling it, if I have something to say, I'll go on there and say it, or I'll go on and support other people or like, and comment because I support my friends in the community. But like, sometimes I'm just like, mm I'm good. I don't need to. And like, I really listen to my internal monologue when I need to do that. And that took time. That took time. And that is still a work in progress, I would say.
Stephanie (31:58): So, given everything you've described about going out on your own and your cancer diagnosis and survivorship, and your perspective now on how to show up in these different places in your life, what does valuing yourself mean to you now?
TIffany (32:17): I think that where I really see my worth shine is when I'm really paying attention to all things that are important to me. And then also taking adequate breaks and being able to say no things I wasn't able to do before. Um, I think my time is worth more than whatever someone will pay me on planet earth. I just don't care about it anymore. Time is worth everything to me because there was a time in my life. I didn't think I had that much of it. And so now I'll give you an example this year, because it's like the first real year people are like back to traveling fully and doing the things. And then I have a lot of friends turning 40 this year and stuff. And so like, all these trips are getting scheduled and some of these trips are like backed up into each other more towards like the fall.
TIffany (33:09): And I like looked at my calendar and I said, oh my gosh. I said yes, to all these trips. I said this to Steve. And he was like, you're just gonna probably have to take a month off then. And just like take a month off. You've always wanted to do that. And you can, and like take the trips. I recognize that's very privileging to say, like, not everybody has the means and like the situation to do that. And, and I fully recognize that, but it's something that I felt like so uncomfortable by and like, guilty about like, I was like, can I take a month off? Like, that's weird. Like I won't be working for a month. That's like, I can't do that. And then I'm like, yes, I fucking can. Yes, I fucking can I work all the time. And actually a lot of times it doesn't feel like work to me because I really do love what I do. And I've been able to pepper in things that mean so much to me and create this world where like, I really feel like I finally figured it out. I'm just 40. And I feel like I finally fucking figured it out seriously. Like, oh my God, I can write, I can work out. I can travel. I can work on the things that I love and with the clients that I love. And I love all the clients that I have right now. So very much the money comes, the opportunity comes. Yeah. Does that make sense?
Harper (34:28): It does. What do you think shifted within you that got you to that point though?
TIffany (34:35): I think for me, it was really paying attention to like the times I felt really, really good and like things I was working on and paying attention to the times that I didn't and caring less about the small things in the day to day. And I think about like another turning point, cause we're talking about turning points is, was the pandemic for me. And I'll say this because I got really busy during the beginning of the pandemic, both with one on one clients of people who were unfortunately getting laid off from COVID rifts and their jobs, or figuring out like, oh, I don't wanna do this anymore. Like I've been home and this isn't it for me. And then also one of my biggest clients now I was just starting to work with them at the beginning of 2020. And then everyone went into lockdown and that client really propelled me into the kind of high growth startup recruiting world.
TIffany (35:38): And I was like doing both for a while. Like most of 20, 20, I was super busy doing one on ones, but then also recruiting again. And then as the year kept going, I kept getting more of these recruiting gigs. And I was like really excited by that. I was like, oh, the money's great. I'm kind of like dipping my toe back into recruiting. And I realized like, I need to stay relevant there cuz so much is changing about that. And then I started doing less one-on-ones and then when one-on-ones would come in, I would be like, oh, I don't know. Like, do I wanna do that? And I'm like, no, Tiffany, you should, you need to help people. You need to help people. So I was fighting against that grain. Right. I was like, oh no, but you need to, you need to help people.
TIffany (36:20): But I would find myself not as energized by it anymore, but then new recruiting things would come in for like really cool startups that like were doing amazing things. And I was like, wait a minute. I thought you said Tiffany, that when you left Burberry you never wanted to recruit again, like you were done, that chapter was closed. And I did say that, but I realized I was just probably very burn out and maybe I didn't wanna work in fashion anymore. Fine, whatever. But these clients were really like lighting my fire. And I was like really working on interesting jobs and working with great people and like mission driven and all of that stuff. And then I just realized stop fighting it lean into like, what's exciting you and this may not excite me forever, but like, I guess that's the whole overarching thing is like, I don't have to be tied to one thing forever. And for a while I'm like, well I guess I'm just doing this forever. Well, no, that's not necessarily true. And so I just kind of relinquished that control and just let it all cap the way it was supposed to. And then that's when it all really worked out. I think.
Stephanie (37:26): So what you just said reminds me, cuz of course I did go down your Insta rabbit hole looking as a prep for this interview. Oh. And one quote you had struck me. Not because it's, Jay-Z
TIffany (37:40): Tell me,
Stephanie (37:41): But because I loved the sentiment and I feel like it's exactly what you're talking about, which is sometimes you have to forget what you feel and know what you deserve.
TIffany (37:50): Mm-hmm <affirmative>
Stephanie (37:52): Yes. I think you have clearly gotten to that point, which is so inspirational.
TIffany (37:58): Yeah. But it's interesting how it, this is probably why people say forties are like the best because you really kind of do start to really figure some things out that you've been kind of like waiting to figure out. And I think that that's sort of how I feel now. I mean like certainly it's not all perfect. And there are days where I'm like, why again, do I work for myself? Like it would be just easier to focus on one thing or not have to like figure out, well, if I don't take this now, but this client's ending and like have to figure out your own thing. You know what I mean? But again, it's about the time for me. And it's about being able to just do things on my own own terms. I think there's nothing better for me.
Harper (38:39): to conclude here when you hear the phrase. Good enough. What does that evoke for you?
TIffany (38:52): I guess like the knee jerk thing that comes to mind is I, I sort of lived in the world for most of my life of like not feeling good enough. So I'll take a different spin to this. You know, much of my, like I said, twenties, thirties, probably even before that. But again, I think everybody as a teen sort of feels this way, it was really sort of around like, how will I be good enough to do that job? Or like get that accolade or like do that thing. Always just like chasing that feeling of being good enough. And for me, I think again, what we were talking about is I finally feel like that. I also like don't care if I'm not in many ways too.
Harper (39:49): Perfect. You're the best. I love it. TIFF. Thanks so much for taking the time to chat with us today. Can you tell our listeners where they can find you?
TIffany (39:59): Yes. And please get a pen because there's actually, <laugh>, I'm so extra and there are several Instagram handles because I just can't do one thing. I'm a total Gemini, but first off for anything business related, my website is Tiffany diba.com. So it's like super easy. And then for Instagram, it's at Tiffany Dyba, but if you're like, Hey, I would love to know more about her cancer journey. Glad you asked cuz that's at C dream C dot D dot R dot E dot a dot M. That is cancer. Doesn't rule everything around me.
Stephanie (40:41): If you like the show, please subscribe and head to iTunes and give us a five star rating and review
Harper (40:47): For show notes and more information head to good enough for now pod.com
Stephanie (40:52): And follow us on Instagram at good enough for now pod. See you next week.