Trust your Compass, Follow Your Passion with Gesche Haas
In this episode of Good Enough For Now, entrepreneur Gesche Haas gets personal about her career trajectory and how she’s been able to refine her internal compass toward personal fulfillment, community, and success.
Gesche Haas is the Founder/CEO of Dreamers & Doers, a private collective and diverse ecosystem that amplifies extraordinary entrepreneurial women through PR opportunities, authentic connection, and high-impact resources. Dreamers & Doers has built a thriving entrepreneurial ecosystem of over 34,000 women globally.
Tune in to hear how Gesche was able to identify her kryptonite, reframe her differences as superpowers, and how she broke free from a traditional path that didn’t serve her into one that aligned with her values.
LISTEN NOW
Here are three reasons why you should listen to this episode:
Uncover the importance of checking in with yourself
Discover journaling techniques that encourage you to tap into your intuition and strengthen your internal compass
Learn the power of reframing your differences as superpowers
Highlights
Gesche has been running her own business, Dreamers and Doers, for twelve years and is a mom to two toddlers. Growing up, her path wasn’t always clear to her. She chased scholarships through high school and eventually fell into the finance world while interning in New York.
I got a hedge fund job technically by having a healthy social life while I was an exchange student.
She enjoyed her job, but she didn’t love it. Everything changed when she joined a group dating site called Grouper. On her first day, she matched with the co-founder of the app and was catapulted into the start-up world.
The compass really kicked in when I figured out that I was so passionate about entrepreneurship.
Finally, she had found her compass, a passion to guide her path. Embracing the start-up world meant that she would need to take a 75% pay cut--but that didn’t matter to her.
It didn't make sense on paper, but I think I just, when I felt so lit up, it really helped guide me…I think in order to be lit up, I also needed to see what didn't light me up.
At first, Gesche found entrepreneurship to be lonely and isolating, though it allowed her to hone in on her instincts. She gravitated toward other women in the space that were facing similar struggles.
And the moment I connected to these women, everything changed.
As Gesche’s compass pushed her outward toward creating community, it also pushed her toward journaling. There, she could give language to exactly what she is feeling and why she was feeling it.
I sit down and I literally check in with myself: how am I feeling? And then I try to dig in deeper...these really nitty gritty things that I used to take for granted before and didn't fully understand where my triggers were–– positive and negative–– really helped me in that journal practice.
As Gesche continued working nonstop to build her business, she connected with other women who were doing the same and began having weekly brunch meetings. Joined together by friendship and business, the brunch meetings continued to grow in size and impact.
Despite encouragement from others, Gesche didn’t see the brunch meetings--which evolved into Dreamers and Doers–– as a business.
I kept saying like, no, this is not a business. This is a community.
But her compass kept pushing her toward it. Organizing and attending the brunches fueled her, and she decided to give it her all after noticing its impact.
It was my kryptonite. So every single weekend I kept organizing this, getting people together, kept adding to it. And then a year into it, seeing what a huge impact it was having, I decided to drop everything else I was working on.
She recognized she didn’t have a clear path in front of her, but she embraced it.
At that time I had no idea what I was doing. I mean, up to this day, I sometimes still don't…which is like a beautiful thing, I think, to embrace… I just knew it had to exist.
In the early days of the business, she struggled to find her footing; a milestone pitch concurred with an emotional rock bottom for Gesche. She realized had to carve her own path–one that didn’t follow the traditional growth mindset. Instead, her path is value-aligned.
Every path has, you know, the hurdles and like upside and downside. My path…I love that I have so much flexibility. I love that, you know, we aren't growth at all costs. We pick members that are values aligned.
Though she struggled with imposter syndrome at the start, Gesche leaned into her community and herself through journaling and solidified her inner compass.
I'd rather fail at something I love than succeed at something I hate. Right? Like that isn't success to me. And if the path was miserable, then is it really worth it?
Throughout her trajectory, Gesche has also found it helpful to embrace her differences and redefine them as superpowers.
What may seem as superpowers to me might be something that even never shows up in a leadership book, but that actually is instrumental to my success. And it's also helped to address like how I'm different…not trying to invest energy in those things, but viewing them as a superpower is so helpful.
By embracing the ways she was different, or what set her apart, Gesche became more aligned with what and who truly resonated with her.
If I was constantly optimizing to be someone I'm not, I'm optimizing for people who my natural self doesn't resonate with… It would be a terrible thing to invest so much energy into optimizing for people we can't be ourselves with.
When measuring success, Gesche looks inward.
So it all comes down to how I feel at the end of the day and how I feel about myself.
The constant communication she practices through journaling and self-reflection allows her to refine her intuition and further trust her inner compass to lead her through her business ventures.
I couldn't stop working on it [Dreamers and Doers] because I felt like I had all these women that were relying on me. And that's why it was my kryptonite. So it's a mix of mostly knowing your why. And then I think if you're really, really in tune with your gut, you will know when it's time to walk away.
It has also helped her in her personal life. Before marrying her current husband, Gesche broke off an engagement and five year relationship. The experience pushed her to embrace her own path even further, and have a deep appreciation of the work that is involved in establishing relationships.
There is beauty in the work that is required of these relationships.
And it's not a bad thing because I think they actually make it so much more beautiful…because I had to work for Dreamers and Doers, because I had to work for this relationship, it is what makes it so special.
Throughout all this work and raising two toddlers, Gesche has found it instrumental to schedule time for checking-in with herself through journaling.
Because I've been doing these regular journaling sessions, I've also identified where there are either bottlenecks or like sources of friction and triggers. When you identify these things, then you are able to manifest them….you see something that you can draw a connection to that can solve the problem.
What Good Enough For Now means to GESCHE:
It evokes happiness because I think in the past, my focus was always like, it's never good enough…I am never good enough. So there's so much joy and confidence in being able to say, this is good enough. Like I have value even if I didn't perfect it to this thing. Or even if I haven't checked all the other options, but I have the confidence to judge that this is good enough.
And to also enjoy the benefits of what I've built and really, really value it instead of driving myself crazy and trying to achieve something that will only cause harm.
Because even if something's maybe objectively even better, it comes to the cost of my own happiness.
ABOUT
Gesche Haas is an entrepreneur, investor, mentor, and advisor who is the Founder/CEO of Dreamers & Doers, a private collective and diverse ecosystem that amplifies extraordinary entrepreneurial women through PR opportunities, authentic connection, and high-impact resources. Dreamers & Doers has built a thriving entrepreneurial ecosystem of over 34,000 women globally.
Gesche's views on the tech space, and beyond, have been featured on Bloomberg TV, CNNMoney, Business Insider, Forbes, Fortune Magazine, NYT, Refinery29, Broadly/Vice, and many other major media outlets, as well as through the United Nations, where she spoke during the sixtieth session of the Commission on the Status of Women. She is a regular content contributor to Nasdaq and 500 Startups.
Prior to founding Dreamers & Doers, Gesche held senior positions at several venture-backed startups in roles covering growth, strategy, finance, business operations and business development. She also spent five years as an investor at a healthcare-focused hedge fund (~$3bn AUM, SAC spin-off).
Gesche is half German, half Chinese-Malaysian, and was born in Eswatini, Africa.
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Stephanie (00:04):
Gesche Haas is an entrepreneur investor, mentor and advisor, who is the CEO and founder of dreamers and doers and award-winning community and agile PR team amplifying extraordinary entrepreneurial women, dreamers and doers has built a thriving entrepreneurial ecosystem, which includes its hiring platform Magical Match of over 35,000 women. Globally. Gesche has been recognized many times for her work, especially by Forbes next 1000 and empowered woman of the year by WWD/Variety/Ciroc. She is also a venture partner at Republic prior to founding dreamers and doers Gesche held senior positions at venture back startups, enrolls covering growth strategy, finance operations, and business development. She also spent five years as an investor at a healthcare focused hedge fund. Gesche is half German, half Chinese Malaysian and was born in Africa. Welcome Gesche. So, so happy to have you here.
Gesche (06:53):
I'm so excited to be here with the two of you.
Stephanie (06:56):
It is just so nice to be able to have someone with such a varied geography of places you've been and lived and where you're coming to us now is from
Gesche (07:09):
Jackson hole Wyoming.
Stephanie (07:11):
Oh my gosh. Amazing, beautiful spot.
Gesche (07:14):
It's stunning. I look outside. I see a lot of trees. Yeah. It's very different from when I used to live in Manhattan.
Harper (07:21):
I think the last time I saw you was at a apartment that you were subletting or a friend who had a cool backyard and we were co-working together there.
Gesche (07:31):
And it's funny because you say backyard and I don't think there was a single tree or grass or leaf in that backyard,
Stephanie (07:40):
A very appropriate Manhattan backyard. <laugh>
Harper (07:43):
You're absolutely correct. That's really funny. So tell us where you're on your life right now.
Gesche (07:51):
So I moved to Jacksonville, Wyoming four and a half years ago. This was a pre COVID move and I'd been in Manhattan prior for 12 years. So that's where I'm am geography wise in terms of work. I've been running my own company for nearly eight years now. And in terms of personal life, I became a mother exactly three years ago. My oldest turned three last week and I had two kids back to back. So my second turns to, um, in just two weeks,
Stephanie (08:23):
Well, you are not one for small goals.
Gesche (08:26):
<laugh> that definitely kinda just happened. So we were told we'd have a really hard time conceiving and I'm glad that it wasn't the case, but that's why like they're so close. We were like, oh, we better try sooner than later. And like, oops, <laugh>
Stephanie (08:41):
I don't think that's an uncommon story. You hear that story a lot. So you've moved around, but you started your career in finance and then you moved into entrepreneurship. Can you talk us through how that happened for you?
Gesche (08:57):
Yes. So I will even start a step earlier in the journey. So in terms of like what I studied, so I went to high school in Beijing. My father worked at the embassy, the German embassy, and I had a really hard time even deciding like where should I study? So applied for universities in Hong Kong, in Singapore and in England, those were the three places. And I kind of just ended up in Hong Kong because I got a full scholarship. Um, and I also applied for degrees from biotech to medicine to business and kind of also just fell into what ended up being global business with operations management. So I feel like at that part of my life, I was very unhinged in the sense of like, I didn't have super clear direction. It was maybe a mix of like lack of confidence or not listening enough to like what made sense to me.
Gesche (09:44):
So I kind of kept falling into the things that happened to get a scholarship. So that was decided for me in some ways then similarly from there as all my classmates were deciding on what career path to pick, I wasn't sure where to go. And, um, a lot my classmates seemed to be interested in investment banking. So I was like, okay, so why don't I start out with something like investment banking? Because it seems like it's like really hard to get in and I can always switch later. So that's how I decided to get into finance. I was interviewing for investment banks and as I was interviewing for investment banks, a friend I met in full disclosure, like literally out partying, but it's kind of funny how sometimes our best work connections come out by being irresponsible. But so I got a hedge technically by having a healthy social life.
Gesche (10:29):
So I studied in Hong Kong, but I was an exchange student in New York city. So that's how I first got to America and how I first got to New York. And this friend knew I was interviewing with investment banks and said, Hey, maybe you should interview with our hedge fund. And that's how I ended up doing an internship there. And then working there full time for five years, I liked the hedge fund world, but I was like never super passionate about it. I love the people. I mean, I'm very lucky that I like my coworkers. Like I feel like oftentimes they don't have the work cultures and I joined essentially group dating site called grouper. I'm not sure if you remember, they'd set up like three and I attended that. And my first match, I got matched with one of the co-founders of grouper. And then two of his friends were also very heavily involved in the startup world.
Gesche (11:19):
And up to that moment, I had known of the startup world, but I've never been like fully like exposed to it. And from that day onwards, this was now maybe 13 years ago. I've been so deeply passionate and excited about entrepreneurship and startups. So I actually spent six months really hard trying to work for grouper. And after six months they're like, wow, you're so passionate about this company. Like more passionate than a lot of the people working here who started the company. So we tried to make it work for six months and I worked there for that half year, but then transition out into a few other early stage companies before I started my current company.
Stephanie (11:55):
It's so interesting because when you started talking about your education and some of the decisions you made, there was an intentionality, right? It was, I wanna do the right things. I wanna follow maybe some expectations that you had built for yourself. And then what ended up happening after you launched into your next chapter in corporate life. And perhaps that coming with, coming to Manhattan, it seemed very organic by people. You met by the networks you started to find for yourself and a more internal compass of passion. How did you figure out what guidelines for developing that passion look like for yourself? Was it an instinct or something else?
Gesche (12:46):
I love how you brought this all up and laid it out. And I agree absolutely that I didn't have as much direction earlier on. And hindsight is always 2020, but I think part of it is, for example, like in school, there's certain exact things you need to do to have a good grade. There's a certain like roadmap. And I was like, always so focused on like, what is the right thing to do versus what do I want to do? And I'd say even honestly, working for the hedge fund, I still didn't have like a great compass. I just happened to know someone who made the introduction and it seemed to make sense. I'd say the compass like really kicked in. When I figured out that I was so passionate about entrepreneurship, like I took a huge pay cut over 70% pay cut. My friends and family kept asking me when I am I getting a real job, it didn't make sense on paper.
Gesche (13:30):
But I think I just, when I felt so lit up, it really helped guide me. But I think in order to be lit up, I also needed to see what didn't light me up. And seeing that contrast was really, really helpful. And frankly, also being able to do the things that society at that time viewed as high status, right? Like I did the thing that it seemed like I was supposed to do. And by having done that and not feeling super aligned, like it helped guide me with my path once I started my company and I actually started that by accident out of, for personal needs. So just briefly explain that for context is when I left some of those early stage startup opportunities, I wanted to be an entrepreneur. So I started working in tinkering and different business ideas. And despite having been like an investor at a hedge fund and worked at early stage startups, I found it very lonely isolating and confusing to work as an entrepreneur and very organically then gravitated to other women who were having similar struggles.
Gesche (14:28):
And the moment I connected to these women, um, everything changed prior. My friends and family were like, you know, when are you getting a job? Or they wanted to hang out all the time while I was working nonstop and had existential fears. And then if they did meet up with them, like I wanted to talk about work and they wanted to talk, you know, maybe about other people, you know, like our priorities had changed so much. So everything changed from that moment onwards. But I'd say, say, I like really, really honed my instinct in those early days of running my company. Because in the early days I get a lot of advice and frankly, mostly from men <laugh> in terms of like how I'm supposed to run my company, how things were to be done. And I explored those paths and they felt really bad.
Gesche (15:08):
So I had to evolve. What's interesting too, running a company yourself versus working for someone else. If you work from someone else, there's more guidance. There's like, this is what you need to do to get a promotion or not to get fired. <laugh> and when you're running your own company, there's so much Liberty as well as responsibility, right? Like everything is on you, which then you really, you kind of have to hone your decision making. So what helped me was journaling. So I'd sit down and I'd literally check in with myself, how am I feeling? And then I tried to dig in deeper. Why am I feeling the way I'm feeling? Right. Like, oh, I'm really irritated. Why? Because maybe I started work too early or maybe I had a meeting at a time that wasn't optimal. So these really nitty gritty things that I used to take for granted before, and didn't fully understand what my triggers were positive and negative really helped me in that journal practice. And I still do it today.
Harper (16:02):
I love that you share that. And I think it's such a valuable tool for new entrepreneurs and existing entrepreneurs to just reflect and observe what's working and what's not working. You keep mentioning your business and how you fell into it. And it was a mistake or not. Can you a about that experience? What and, and how the idea came to be?
Gesche (16:25):
Yes. So I like calling it a happy accident and I oftentimes get asked these like, oh, how did you come up with this quote unquote brilliant idea. But the truth is that the idea found me and the idea has also evolved over time, obviously. So what happened was, as I was like working nonstop, I was at a dinner and I connected with one other woman who I call the OG dreamers and doers. We connected over working on our businesses. So we met up over brunch. So everything started essentially over brunch. And we asked and talked about our businesses, as well as, you know, the insecurities we had at that time. And everything changed. Like it was such a pivotal moment in my life from there onwards, obviously not thinking like, oh, this will be a business, cause I was like just casually getting brunch with someone.
Gesche (17:11):
Right. But it very organically evolved from there. And it also, wasn't supposed to be women focused the way it is today, but it also very organically happened. We would stick to these branches like religiously every single week just because it was helping us so much. Plus we were working anyhow every weekend. So, you know, it's just like the natural thing to do. And then more and more other women. And occasionally, some men were working on weekends on their businesses, ended up joining us because it was also such a safe Haven for them as well. And from there it just grew and grew. I had a few individuals who tell me like, Hey, maybe you should make this your business instead of the other business ideas that you're working on. And I kept saying like, no, this is not a business. This is a community. This, you know, would never work.
Gesche (17:53):
But lo and behold, while I was changing business ideas, constantly dreamers endorse was the one thing I couldn't stop working on. It was my kryptonite. So every single weekend I kept organizing this, getting people together, kept adding to it. And then a year into it, seeing what a huge impact I was having. I decided to drop everything else I was working on and to try and see what dreamers and enjoys could be. But at that time I had no idea what I was doing. I mean, up to this day, I sometimes still don't do I think most of us don't, which is like a beautiful thing I think to embrace, but I didn't know what this was going to be, what direction. And I just knew it had to exist.
Stephanie (18:32):
One of the things that I really loved about what you just described was I could, I just got this vision in my mind of just like open arms, pulling more and more people in it was the brunch. It was ideas between each other, bouncing ideas off supporting one another. And could this be a business? I don't know, but I can't stop working on it. And that inclusivity isn't always so easy. I I'm sure you saw in business examples where maybe it was conventional, this is the way businesses run. These are the ideas that we give flight to. What do you think made you so open? Was that something from your personal experience or just this passion?
Gesche (19:19):
So for one, I feel like you're giving me a lot of credit that I was like that <laugh>
Stephanie (19:24):
You deserve? What are,
Gesche (19:27):
You're giving me a lot of credit that, you know, I saw this idea and it felt right. And I went for it. I really resisted for a long time. And even, you know, as I describe when I decided to go full time on it, even then I resisted it. And even throughout the years, sometimes I like question the path. So in the early days, I think it was still at a time where I was getting advice from men <laugh> and not to say that like all advice from men is bad. Like truly it isn't, but it just, at that time, like it was a lot of male entrepreneurs who were giving me tips on like fundraising and scaling. So what we did is we applied for Y Combinator. Um, one of like the major accelerators and we got an interview, we got flown out to Palo Alto and on the outside that might have seen like one of our huge milestones, but from the inside, it's where I personally emotionally hit rock bottom because in order to prepare for that pitch, like everything that we were trying to explain to them needed to bring across like how incredibly scalable it was.
Gesche (20:27):
And it wasn't aligned with why I had dropped everything else in my life to work on dreamers and doors. Nowadays, people understand communities a little bit better and they are venture funded communities, but it would've looked very different. Had we pursued that path. So after that experience, we were building out our own tech platform. So we decided to scrap that. And instead we leveraged existing technology and we started to monetize early instead of trying to like grow like crazy. And even though it felt more aligned, I'd still question myself at that time because you know, I'd be at a tech event or entrepreneurship event in New York city and people would ask me, how much have you raised? How big your office, where is your office? How many employees do you have? And when I told them the truth of like, you know, we don't have an office, I haven't raised anything. You could tell how they tried really hard to get out of the conversation with me, cause I wasn't important or relevant enough for them. So now I don't give a fuck about that.
Harper (21:23):
Amen.
Gesche (21:25):
The way I view it is like every path has the hurdles and like upside and downside. Right? So my path, like I love that I have so much flexibility. I love that we aren't growth at all costs. We pick members that are values aligned. So people, I actually wanna spend time with, like, if I don't think your values align, like you might get kicked out or we might not accept you. Right. And that means we aren't growing at all costs, but like, I really love what we're doing. Granted, I am not invited to like, you know, I know a billionaire round table or something. Right. But I'm okay with that. I just understand what essentially the cost is. And I'm actively like embracing that cost. Right. I think sometimes the tricky part in life is that we try to optimize for all these positives that actually aren't positives for us.
Gesche (22:06):
I love flexibility, but do I really care about how much I've raised? Right. I'd rather have like a sustainable business. And there were times where I was really self-conscious because there was a lot of women focused businesses that were constantly in the news that had raised so much money and we'd be compared to them or I'd be asked like if I'm working on anything else besides my, you know, little project that is streamers endures, you know, at that time that's stung. Sometimes it still happens today, but I'm like, whatever, I don't, I don't care <laugh>. But at that time, because I hadn't built up my inner compass, it was trickier. And fun fact is that now some of those companies have actually imploded. And in two instances, someone has reached out to me to inquire if I'd be interested in leading the company as a CEO for like their second, you know, version of that. So obviously it doesn't always work out that way, but I think it's so important to figure out your path because I'd rather feel it's something I love than succeed at something I hate, right? Like that isn't success to me. And if the path was miserable than is it really worth it? Like the outcome matters so much, but once you reach a certain outcome, you don't suddenly feel great if you felt shitty leading up to it.
Harper (23:16):
I so love that you've chosen the path less traveled, which is all what we're about. One thing I just wanna acknowledge here is I remember personally when I started my own business meeting up with friends in the same sort of way that you did in the early stages and having entrepreneurial friends and the value of that. So important to sitting at a and being able to brainstorm people. When I didn't day a of mine said to me, you're not in dreamers and doers. And I said, what's that? And she said, your life is about to change. And it did. And I'm not just saying this because I'm sitting here with you today. It really impacted my business in life so much. I met so many people who are still in my life and will be forever personally and professionally that I wouldn't have found if it weren't for dreamers and doers. So again, I wanna give you credit where credit is due at the beginning of the conversation, you mentioned the word confidence. And what I'm hearing you say here is that you did have the confidence to go. I don't really care that these people are running their businesses legitimately or whatever the word may be. I'm gonna do it my way. And I feel good about it. And clearly you're getting kudos for people take, where did that confidence from? And did you ever have any level of mentors or who instilled that confidence in you?
Gesche (24:42):
When I was little, I was actually extremely shy. I was so shy that I'd peed my pants because I was too uncomfortable to ask the kindergarten teacher for the bathroom. And like up to this day, I still remember how painful, like physically painful that was. So it definitely, wasn't always confident. And I'd say even up to this day, sometimes certain social situations I get, uh, extremely nervous about, which is ironic since I'd run a pretty big community.
Harper (25:08):
<laugh>
Gesche (25:09):
The number one driver for my confidence is not trying to be someone I'm not right. So when I was in finance, like I didn't look like most people there for many reasons, I wasn't a man or so I'm not American. Like I didn't go to an Ivy league American school. I went to a school in Hong Kong and I felt very intimidated to a point where like, it wasn't even rational, right? Like it doesn't matter what someone says. It just everything they say sounds better. And I felt intimidated. So the moment I was like, wait, I do have superpowers. What are they? And what may seem as superpowers to me, it might be something that even never shows up in a leadership book, but that actually is instrumental to my success. And it's also helped to address like how I'm different. So maybe I am not a dude <laugh> or maybe I have an accent.
Gesche (25:56):
Right. But rather than trying to pretend it doesn't exist or trying to like be really good at having American language or whatever it is not trying to invest energy in those things. But viewing them as a superpower is so helpful. I've noticed that in society, like whatever it happens to be like, the default is what we assume is normal and sometimes is good. Like for example, I share a lot of very vulnerable things on social media and sometimes I feel self-conscious about it, but how it helps me. And also I think others absorb what I share is that I address like, Hey, this is probably not what usually gets shared. And then immediately like just sets the tone. It changes it for me or for others. I feel less self conscious and I get so much overwhelming feedback. So I think really owning what makes us different and being okay if some people don't like us, like if I was constantly optimizing to be someone I'm not, I'm optimizing for people who my natural self doesn't resonate with. Right. I want the people to select themselves out who wouldn't naturally resonate with me. Right. It's nothing wrong with them, nothing wrong with me. We resonate with different people, but it would be a terrible thing to invest so much energy into optimizing for people. We, we copy ourselves with
Stephanie (27:06):
I'm sure. Passing that one down to your kids. Uh <laugh> that one is such a life lesson. And I think one of the things that's so fascinating about it too, is that you were given these barometer of what success looked like, right. By a context that may not have been relevant to you. And you redefined that. So today, what does success mean to you?
Gesche (27:33):
So it all comes down how I feel at the end of the day and how I feel about myself. And obviously it doesn't mean that everything has to be rainbow and sunshine, right? Like it's, it's fun having challenges. It's fun getting outside my comfort zone, but it all comes back to do. I feel like I'm in line with my values. Am I doing the things I, I want to be doing? And through journaling, I figured out that this is a mix of excitement in the day to day, which I think is totally underestimated because we always talk about these massive goals, but it's really like how we fill our days up. And for me that's actually a lot of time. So I unhappy if back
Gesche (28:25):
To easy to walk away, obviously too early. And, and that's like the tricky part, I, I think, first of all, realizing like, why am I doing what I'm currently doing? And considering to walk away from? And if from the beginning we can realize like, oh wow. Like if I were to realize I'm doing this because you know, it has to do with my hurt ego from like my childhood. And I just really need to prove myself. I think then it's a pretty good like indicator early on of like, okay, I'm not doing this for the right reasons. And then beyond that, like, cause there will always be like uncomfortable moments. But I think like if the, why is aligned, continuing even throughout the moments and some of even setting like a really clear goal, like, Hey, if this doesn't like work out in like three months, maybe even setting like parameters, that can be flexible as well because sometimes some of the best things are on the other side of, you know, powering through these difficult moments.
Gesche (29:16):
Mm-hmm <affirmative> I can't tell you like how hard running dreamers and doors was in the early days. And I'm so grateful I stuck with it and I think I couldn't have even given up because like clearly I like switched business ideas consistently that weren't dreamers indoors, but dreamers endures, even though it was hard, I couldn't stop working on it because I felt like I had all these women that were relying on me and that's why it was my cryp tonight. So it's a mix of mostly knowing your why. And then I think if you're really, really in tune with your gut, you will know why when it's time to walk away.
Harper (29:48):
So that's actually relevant not only to your business life, but it sounds like also to your personal life, you ended an engagement prior to being married to your current husband. Can you tell us what led you to that and how you made that decision?
Gesche (30:02):
Yes. The preview is that I've been with my husband now for exactly five years. So in these five years we got engaged basically in the first year, married in the second year I was pregnant, actually not realizing that when we got married and then had two kids, bought a house, now have a dog have chicken. So a lot can happen in half a decade or five short years. Prior to that, I was engaged for maybe three, four years and I was convinced I'd marry. My ex was really happy in that relationship that then met my current husband, very unexpectedly at a work trip in Vienna or Austria out of all places. So very unexpected. And I was basically resisting this for five months because at no point was, I were like, oh wow. I, you know, I'm not going to marry this person. But I think logically my head was saying, um, no to not go with this new person, but my heart somehow like similar to dreamers endures, even though it was five of the hardest months of my life with lots of back and forth, as you can imagine, as you know, you've met someone new and are unsure, but it was the thing I couldn't remove from my life essentially.
Gesche (31:11):
And after five months I had this one day where I realized like I could more likely see myself with my now husband than with my, uh, fiance at that time. And even though I wasn't sure if the relationship would work out, I was like in this moment, I just know it's not fair to continue in my current relationship because I see a stronger future with the other person. And that was the day we ended our relationship. And I wish I could say like that after that it was all rainbow and sunshine and you know, all the things I just told you just like magically unfolded, but it was really hard in the early days because I had just called off engagement, someone I thought I would marry. And there was so much pressure on thinking that I had made the right decision now. Right. Like if I had made a decision before and it was the wrong decision, how did I know that I was now making the right decision and humans are human, right.
Gesche (32:02):
It isn't like that. You know, my husband's wonderful. I Tru I love him so much, but he's not like perfect. Neither am I perfect. So part of relationships, like it's, it's just that human to human nature. And after having broken often engagement, it's nearly harder to just accept someone for being human because you, you suddenly have these like unrealistic expectations. So it actually took a while to fully like grow into that relationship. And one of the most helpful things I did was take an online relationship anxiety course. It was the first course I've ever taken. And I just took it a few days before our wedding. So just to give you like a sense of like where my mental sleep was at, just going into this marrying, I was like, am I a fraud? Cause part of me thinks this might not be right. And it really helped set my head straight.
Gesche (32:47):
And I think that's a thing. Like I love working on dreamers indoors. Do I love every single day? No. Some days are really hard. I love my husband. I love our relationship. Like, do I feel like excited about having married him every single day? No, but that does. Isn't the point. And I think that's the tricky part that we want all like these really beautiful, good things, but to get like the most beautiful life possible, we need to also be aware of like kind of the shadow and the darker sites. And it's not a bad thing because I think they actually make it so much more beautiful because they have to work for dream new because I had to work for this relationship. It is what makes it so special. Then if it came super easy, I'd probably be really bored. And I wouldn't be with my husband and I wouldn't be running dreamers and anymore.
Stephanie (33:30):
Yeah. I think that that is such a, a hard thing sometimes is to accept when we make difficult decisions and that we want them to be perfect because we put so much time and energy and oh my gosh. Right. Or maybe in your telling of that experience, which by the way, thank you for sharing that, how hard that was after you made the choice to leave your former fiance and have this new relationship. Of course there had to be so much pressure that you were doing the right thing, right? You're looking for validation that you just, you know, left in this case, a personal relationship, but people feel that way about jobs, houses, friendships all the time. But I think what's so gorgeous about your story is you had to accept that there was worry. You had to accept that it wasn't perfect and that it won't be going forward. And that's where the fun part of the journey is, uh, getting to the next place. So you talked about journaling and how that really helps you reflect on where you are. Are there other resources or apps you use? I mean, how do you organize that time for yourself? Because I imagine with your own company, two kids, a husband, and I'm sure you have lots of other activities in your life. How do you make space for what I'll call self-care I guess,
Gesche (34:53):
Yes. So I, I have a few approaches to that. One is very recently I started having on my to-do list for every day. I call it gratitude, rampage and manifestation so that, um, I have like this Google doc that where I have like screenshots of different things that, you know, are part of my dreams. And I also journal what I'm grateful for as well as things I want to have manifest. And it's just a few minutes every day, but it helps ground me. And then in the evening I also try to recap the day in addition to that, I now have a standing invite every week in the evening where I have my husbands do bedtime alone with the kids. And I feel like a human where I'm like, oh wow, I don't have to be home at that, that time. It feels absolutely like amazing.
Gesche (35:40):
But it's key that, you know, we discussed this, that it is in my calendar and it really shifts everything. And because I've been doing these regular journaling sessions, I've also identified like, where are like either bottlenecks or sources of friction and triggers. And I've realized that I am dreading the weekends sometimes because I am a full-time mom and the weekend. And that's actually like the hardest part of my week. I joke that I always have two sides of relieves every day. And it's when I drop them off at daycare. And when they're in bed, um, they're a little crazy, especially if you have two toddlers and they like really kind of fight a lot, but that helped me realize that I wanted more time for myself on weekends. So it's funny, like when you identify these things, like then you are able to manifest them in the sense that you see something that you can draw a connection to, that can solve the problem. So in this case, I ran into someone at the local pool here and she's a nanny, so we exchanged numbers and this weekend she's gonna watch the kids on Saturday. So it's like, it helps so much to really identify like where the pain points are and then seeing the opportunities to solve those pain points, just show up suddenly. And I wouldn't have noticed it before.
Stephanie (36:51):
Yeah. And you also approach it like you approach everything else, right. Is, you know, where are the bottlenecks? How can I be resourceful about solving this problem back to those superpowers, using those for yourself, just like in your business or with the people that work with you. That's brilliant.
Harper (37:13):
You created dreamers and doers out of your own need and then built this over the last eight years. How has it benefited you personally and professionally to have this community?
Gesche (37:25):
The funny anecdote is that whenever I travel and I travel with my husband, we will always meet some local members and maybe we meet them as a family or just individually and still you'd think like, by this time, he'd know better in a sense, but he'll always ask me like, how do you know all these people <laugh> and the answer is always dreamers and George <laugh>,
Harper (37:47):
It's also my answer, by the way.
Gesche (37:50):
<laugh> I love it. It's impacted my life so much. And we actually even say this in part of our curation, that our goal is to transform life professionally and personally. So if you connect incredible women to each other and you create them for being values driven, like, yes, maybe you won't hit it off with every single person, but the hitch ratio and the success ratio is so much higher. Like you walk into a room and you know, someone's a dreamers, endorses members, you know, you'll like have so much in common. So many of my best friends I've met through dreamers and doors. And obviously my professional life has, I can't even put into words like how exponentially it's been grown, just having the connections to these like generous, highly E accomplished women that are so eager to support each other.
Stephanie (38:32):
So our show is called good enough for now, as you know, and now that we've had a conversation thinking back on your journey, when you hear that phrase, it's good enough for now, what does that evoke for you?
Gesche (38:49):
It evokes happiness because I think it, the past, my focus was always like, it's never good enough and especially I am never good enough. So there's so much joy and confidence in being able to say, this is good enough. Like I have value, even if I didn't perfect it, this thing, or even if I haven't checked all the other options, but I have the confidence to judge that this is good enough. And to also enjoy the benefits of what I've built and really, really value it instead of driving myself crazy and trying to achieve something that will only cause harm. Because like, even if something's like maybe objectively even better, it comes to the cost of my own happiness.
Harper (39:33):
That's wonderful. And it's so interesting to hear it all these years later, you know, and not being regular contact with you and thinking about the amount of communication we were in for so many years in the early days of dreamers and doers, and I can feel your confidence and I can feel your self-assurance in what you're doing and the path you're on being the right one squiggly and all. So really thank you for taking the time to chat with us. Where can people find you and join dreamers and doers if they're interested?
Gesche (40:04):
Yes. So dreamers and doers everywhere, um, in terms of handles is @dreamersdoers. So there's no, and in there, and it's just our website as well. Dreamersdoers.com. I will say that in addition to our membership, we also have a digest. That's a monthly free resource. So that's like a second way to benefit. And we also have a jobs platform that's free of charge. Our core part of our offering is PR opportunity. So we make PR super accessible, cause we want to amplify strong female voices. This isn't done enough. So we're mentioning in terms of me, it's my name Gesche Haas on all platforms. So I share a lot of real talk on Instagram, if you wanna follow along there and otherwise like LinkedIn, it's also great.
Stephanie (40:47):
Thank you so much. I am so inspired by your story and I'm going to look forward to those posts, Gesche.
