Redefine Networking, Find Resilience For Life with Emily Merrell
In this episode of Good Enough for Now, we hear from Emily Merrell, the Founder and Community Curator of Six Degrees Society, a Professional Speaker and Podcast host. She has supported thousands of ambitious women to get what they want in their personal and professional lives. Emily shares her expert knowledge through signature connection events, sold out masterminds and 1:1 coaching. Emily’s expertise has been applauded and featured by Refinery29, Girlboss, Forbes and Huffington Post.
Emily talks about her experience as an entrepreneur and all-around force of connections among women driven by her ability to be positive in the face of what she'll describe as some really difficult moments in her life. Never afraid to go her own way, Emily founded her company to bring an integrative approach to networking — focused on women and their personal, professional, and lifestyle development.
Tune in to hear Emily share how to be true to yourself in taking risks that feel grounded in skills, forged from experience and curiosity for what’s possible.
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what we cover in this episode:
How to know when your chosen career isn’t the right path for you and take a leap to make your side hustle the main focus.
Perspective on how networking can be redefined to be curated connection and feel less performative
When the tragedies of life happen, there are gifts that lead us to level up our resilience
Using our personal relationships to help us learn knowledge when are new at a role in our lives, just like when we are learning a new professional skill
Accepting that you have to try and fail to be able to find your next definition of success.
Resources
Follow Emily on Instagram
Visit Six Degrees Society
Learn about Emily’s Coaching Options
Listen to The Sixth Degree Podcast
What Good Enough For Now means to Emily:
It evokes my motto in life basically. I'm definitely, and this is something I've made peace with, I'm a B+ person in life. I'm not an A+ perfectionist. I'm not striving for, “Harvard of Life”. I'm striving for a good time and living my life to the fullest. So being good enough for now is how I pretty much live my life. And you can dive into fixing it later if it needs to. My clients say this a lot in my business coaching, “You hold me tender and shove me at the same exact time”. And there's that element of “Publish the goddamn website already. You're About [website] Page is never gonna be perfect. And guess what? It's editable. “Go, go!” Don't let perfectionism hold you back from starting or doing anything.
ABOUT
Emily Merrell is the Founder and Community Curator of Six Degrees Society, a Professional Speaker and Podcast host. She has supported thousands of ambitious women to get what they want in their personal and professional lives. SDS members often achieve their first paying clients, land a new job and a mentor by utilizing Emily’s expert knowledge shared through signature connection events, sold out masterminds and 1:1 coaching. Emily’s expertise has been applauded and featured by Refinery29, Girlboss, Forbes and Huffington Post. She is based in Denver, Colorado.
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Stephanie Kruse (00:05):
Welcome to Good Enough for now a podcast aimed at dismantling perfectionism. One conversation at a time. I'm Stephanie Kruse and along with my guests on the show we share stories of false starts, unexpected U-turns, and moments of reinvention that happen as we move through life. Thanks for joining me. My hope is that our conversations will help you stay grounded, feel a little less alone and a little bit more together.
(00:40):
So I talked to Emily Merrell in this episode and one of the things that really struck me about her is her ability to be positive in the face of what she'll describe as some really, really difficult moments in her life and seasons that she survived and then ultimately thrived as a result of she's been an entrepreneur and an all around just force of connections among women. One of the things that I also really think was key to her experience was that she hasn't been afraid to sort of go her own way. And I would say that for myself in starting this creative project of the podcast or other times that I've gone outside, what I've thought is the conventional notion of what I should do or the path I should follow, scary as it was for me and as worried about what other people would think as I've been those times have made all the difference and have really led me to sort of the next place in my personal growth and development.
(01:42):
So I wanna welcome Emily Merrell and I'll tell you about her. Emily Merrell is the founder of Business Coach at Six Degrees Society, co-founder of Ready, set, coach, and podcast host of the six degree and Ready Set coach podcast. Emily launched her career in the fashion world, working in special events and marketing for luxury brands like Ralph Lauren, Tory Burch and Intermix. Since her leap into entrepreneurship in 2016, Emily's expertise in community building, networking and business coaching has been applauded and featured by Refinery 29 Girl Boss Forbes and Huffington Post. She's a recent Denver transplant and in her spare time you can find her playing with her son, hiking with her husband, and making new connections or planning her next Taco Night. Emily, I am so excited to have you on today. Thank you for joining me. I'm so excited to be here. I feel like it's Christmas <laugh> love that you said that when we met a few weeks ago and had an initial conversation, there were so many places of synchronicity that we had in our lives. I felt like I was like in that moment of meeting someone that you already know, it was kind of creepy cuz I thought you were stalking me a little bit. Um, <laugh>, I was like, hi, I'm from Connecticut. You're like, I live in
Emily Merrell (02:59):
And then the San Francisco connection. Yes. I feel like every single thing that we had, it was like, no, I worked there. So it was wild
Stephanie Kruse (03:06):
<laugh>, wait, that was my life. Oh wait, yes. So I think, you know, coming to this conversation today, what I really wanna dig into is more about your journey and knowing that I will relate to everything you say, but tell me where are you in your life right now?
Emily Merrell (03:23):
Should I describe what I'm wearing too? Of course.
Stephanie Kruse (03:25):
Whatever works
Emily Merrell (03:26):
<laugh>, I haven't showered yet today. Um, it's all good now. So right now I live in Denver, Colorado, which is still a new thing to say for me, but it's coming up on a year and I am the mom to a 13 month old who just started walking last week, which is brings me to tears, but is also so fun and so terrifying all at once when you realize how un baby proofed your house is very, very quickly. Oh gosh, <laugh> like, oh my god, this stove can reach it Now those knobs are coming off everything. He's so tall all of a sudden it feels like. So I'm a mom. I am married. I've been married for three years to a wonderful Canadian gentleman named Greg and I am a business owner. I have had my business since 2014 as a side hustle and 2016 a full-time hustle. It was actually, oh my gosh Stephanie, it was this time in 2015 that I found the cajones to go and quit my corporate job and given my notice and say I'm gonna leave corporate and I'm gonna take my business full-time. And it's hilarious because knowing what I know now about a business, I'd probably like tell young Emily to not have done that or a little bit more thoughtfully. But I'm so grateful I didn't know what I know.
Stephanie Kruse (04:43):
I love what you said about not only watching the transition of your son, right and that surprise of he could reach everything. He's so tall. That seems to happen overnight and yet every day I'm sure feels super long, but also
Emily Merrell (04:58):
How
Stephanie Kruse (04:59):
You went from that corporate, you know, you had the side hustle and you said, oh I'm doing this full-time, but looking back, oh wait, would I have done that? So tell me how you made that decision then and what pushed you into that next phase.
Emily Merrell (05:14):
Yeah, I'm very grateful I did it. I truly, my husband jokes all the time that if I worked for him he would fire me immediately. <laugh>, I will give you a glimpse of my preschool and kindergarten report card, which basically said Emily does what she wants to do and Emily is not really great at following directions and Emily should probably get more responsibility at home. So there was a lot of themes that I feel are still adequate in my life today or have still resonated in my life today. But when I graduated college, I started off, it was 2009 and it was when the first recession or the first recession really of my lifetime was happening. So while all my friends were getting jobs at Deloitte and going to Lehman Brothers and then not going to Lehman Brothers <laugh>, I didn't really feel a calling to go corporate.
(06:04):
I knew I wanted to do something for myself and if I went to New York City, which was always my Emerald City kind of dream, I would be taking just a job to take a job. So I somehow was able to convince my parents or just tell the world that I was moving to Argentina. And I picked Argentina because I had studied abroad in Madrid. I loved Madrid, I loved Spain, but the Euro was working against us at the time and I heard that Argentina was quite accessible in terms of Americans living there. And I had this goal or this weird challenge to live in a city where I knew absolutely no one. So I moved to Argentina knowing no one. Fast forward, lived there nine months, taught English, did a whole bunch of entrepreneurial things, came back and through my time in Argentina, met an individual who helped introduce me to everyone she knew and one of those people worked at Ralph Lauren and took a chance on me and hired me as her events assistant.
(07:04):
So I started a career in fashion. So this high level question you just asked me is turning it into a long answer <laugh> It's okay, go ahead. Yeah, I started my career in fashion doing special events and marketing and I jumped around to some really, really incredible businesses and companies. But I didn't feel like it was my thing. Like I loved it, I had the dream job. People literally would LinkedIn message me and be like, how can I be you when I graduate college? And I just didn't feel like I was living my truth or living my purpose, but I didn't know what that was. So Six Degrees Society was my truth and my purpose that I started as a side hustle in just the hopes to connect humans and bring them together and make the world a smaller and more incredible place. And I fell in love with my side hustle and that was what gave me the courage.
(07:54):
It was the community I'd cultivated that really was shoving me to leave corporate. They're like, just do this full-time. You have no idea how good you are at it. Just do it. So it wasn't me that found the courage, it was them. And then one day I just remember walking into the office and feeling like, I hate this, I really hate this. I don't like who I am here. And I had this, if you read the book, the email Revisited, he talks about the entrepreneurial seizure and I truly had this moment where I was like F my 401k <laugh>, like who needs stability? <laugh>, you know, I live alone, I'm single, I have no kids. Worst comes to worst, I got a corporate job again.
Stephanie Kruse (08:33):
Yeah. And I think one of the things that you brought up too was what was true to you and what felt right? I was just talking with somebody about this relative to my own journey into entrepreneurship most recently, although I think I've really been one since I've been a consultant for so long, but not identified <laugh>, but that sometimes we can push, right? We can find something or we really wanna make go forward and we can push into that and put it out there and then other times you just sort of have to let things come to you. And it sounds like in that example of yours going into, you know, jumping into your own company out of corporate life was really about other people saying like, you are so amazing at this. You got this and good for you for listening. Because sometimes <laugh>, right? Like it's not always easy to believe, there's a lot of stability you get from the kind of conventional path, right? It's expected, it's clear.
Emily Merrell (09:33):
Yeah. And it's hard to explain to your friends, which is so funny Stephanie cuz most of my friends have either dipped their toe in entrepreneurship and or have become entrepreneurs themselves. But when you're the first and you're on the other side of this line and you're like, I'm giving it all up to trust myself, they're like, are you effing insane? Like what smoking, what is going on? I'm really grateful for my mom because I remember sitting down with her and being like, I'm really miserable at this job and I think I'm gonna quit and I think I'm gonna try doing Six Degrees, which at the time was called City Society, uh, full-time. And she looked at me and she's like, I think that's a great idea. I think you're a bitch at your job <laugh>. And I was like, mom, oh my God. And she's like, I don't like who you've become when you're working.
(10:23):
You're so stressed at this job. You embody someone that's not you. Like the kindness of you is kind of just sucked out. But when you are hosting a six degrees event, which my mom has been a part of since pretty much day one, she's like, you are your truest version. So I'm really grateful for her permission because I think it gave me the like okay mentally to do what I needed to do. It was as if this fire came alive inside of my belly where I was like, all right, let's go time. Let's make moves them, let's go. Yeah.
Stephanie Kruse (10:55):
Well and do think like when you start a project that feels really true, I mean I've definitely experienced this, like you almost have this feeling of almost a manic, right? Of it's wild with possibility. You feel full in a way that you haven't and it is also so different from where you've been. And then you put structure to it and it starts to, you know, move along just like everything else does. But I love that you got that obviously someone who knows you so intimately as your own mother <laugh> to say, yeah it's good, it's good. Because I think there are many situations that parents would've been like, yeah, you're crazy. What are you doing? Right? Like you're stable and you're just jumping off this cliff. What? You know, I
Emily Merrell (11:42):
Actually hid it from my stepdad. I was so anxious to tell him I, I thought he'd see me as a failure. Mm-hmm <affirmative>. And um, at one point I think I was probably maybe two or three months in, I told him no I think it was a year in. I told him,
Stephanie Kruse (11:56):
Oh you waited that long.
Emily Merrell (11:58):
I think I waited a long time. And when I was like making money and whatnot. And then he said to me and he confessed to me, he was much older, he was in his eighties and he was like, my biggest regret was not going out on my own because I was always, I was a child of the depression and I was always taught to have a job. You always have to have a job that's secure. So that was good. Although the question he followed up was like, how much money have you made <laugh>? No, I'm making money and I'm renting out my room. So you know,
Stephanie Kruse (12:32):
<laugh>, there's that part of every entrepreneur's story. I was just listening to a podcast about somebody talking about it and it's like, you know when you get your bankruptcy, when you take on credit card debt to fund your business, you know, there's those examples and that's usually like about when it's actually gonna take off. Right? If you just hold on long enough <laugh>.
Emily Merrell (12:52):
So, and we don't root for the people who are like, well you know, I started it and then I made a million dollars. I'm like, screw you. That's no fun.
Stephanie Kruse (12:59):
It's just not real. I'm sorry. Like I just think there's a whole bunch of chapters missing in between the beginning and end of that sentence, right? There's no way that's possible,
Emily Merrell (13:08):
That's appreciate about how I built this. So he always does the like wait and then your store washed away in a flood and then you loan from your mother-in-law. And then the one episode, the Canva episode, the girl who created Canvas, she literally is, I started it and then it became a billion dollar business and I was like unsubscribe, I don't wanna listen to this anymore. <laugh>,
Stephanie Kruse (13:29):
Maybe she's the one in a million that it did just we're really happy for her. And yes, I use Canva as does a million people apparently to make her so
Emily Merrell (13:39):
Successful. <laugh>, it's multimillion <laugh>. I know.
Stephanie Kruse (13:43):
So you began Six Degrees Society with the intention of lifting up women, connecting to each other and kind of solving what I think you probably were seeing as a need as an entrepreneur, right? And sounds like maybe from your Argentinian adventure you realized how valuable it was to have someone connecting you in especially to a place, you know at the time you didn't know very well at all. So when I think about networking, often we're taught, you know, have a plan, do some research, call someone up or you know, ask for an informational meeting or a coffee, let's have coffee, right? And that's what networking looks like.
Emily Merrell (14:23):
Yep.
Stephanie Kruse (14:24):
But I think you have hit upon something that is much more genuine. So can you talk about, maybe we shouldn't even use the word networking, but what that actually feels like and what you've created to make that a little more holistic?
Emily Merrell (14:38):
Yeah. Oh gosh. I've been on like 10 coffee dates in a row before and literally felt like I was going to the moon. I was so hyper on coffee <laugh>. Um, it's interesting thinking back again to this like 20 something old girl who created Six Degrees Society and then thinking about the 30 something year old girl now and how it's evolved, the 20 something year old girl, one of the biggest things that I noticed about my girlfriends was they were all bad asses and they weren't bragging about themselves. And what I would notice at like a birthday party or a place where people would be from different friend groups meeting, I'd walk away and be like, oh my god Stephanie did you connect with Susie about the fact that you both should be doing this? And they're like, what are you talking about? And I was like, what?
(15:21):
What is this missed opportunity? This is so frustrating. And then I would have to go and I'd have to sit and write an email and be like, you need to meet Stephanie cuz she's a badass and she does this amazing thing which could be plugged in here and like spell it out for them. Mm-hmm <affirmative>. And then they would make the connection. So it was more work on my end. It would take longer for the outcome that I saw there to actually happen. So I thought creating a space where everyone could pre brag about themselves, essentially write their bios in the third person about all of their amazing accomplishments, all of the cool things you could read about everyone before you walk into the room. And then I do the hard part and I pre curate who you're connected with. So rather than you walking in and having that plan and having to figure out, okay we got 10 business cards tonight.
(16:09):
How many people <laugh> can I give them too? You can be super present because no business cards are needed cuz you have everyone's emails, you have everyone's bios, you have everyone's Instagram, you have all of their information pre delivered to you. So even if you and I hit it off but you're like I really wanted to connect with Susan over there, you can follow up with Susan and you can actually be in that present moment. Which I felt like every networking event I went to someone coming and being like, so what school did you go to? And I was like, I hate this, I hate this so much, I'm just gonna unsubscribe the worst. And like that's not genuine connection. Like a genuine connection is sure, let's talk about what school we went to, but like can we talk about human things first? Can we dive in and talk about how effing good white Lotus is right now? <laugh>
(16:59):
And connecting to humans. And then we talk about school and business and whatnot. So that's my intention with Six Degrees is that you can show up as you are. You don't have to be a representative of your business. That was another challenge I found working at these coveted fashion brands. People would seat my name tag and be like, you work there, can I get a discount? Oh I was like I'm looking to leave this company help <laugh> and you can't, you know, you were always representing. So it became this kind of hodgepodge community of side hustlers and people who could speak safely about their desires beyond their corporate entities. Where now a lot of 'em are entrepreneurs, most of the people who do come to our events are entrepreneurs, but we have a lot of corporate people as well.
Stephanie Kruse (17:44):
And I think one of the things you hit on there was the idea of identity. So how you show up in your life and how you show up as you connect with other people. You know, I could tell you five of the 5 million things about my life and that might make me look like one sort of person maybe because I'm trying to fabricate, you know, an idea of myself to you, I'm trying to connect with you or something transactional. Right? Or we can just have a human conversation and then get to maybe there is some kind of transaction or way that we can help each other. But I think it's interesting sometimes that kind of gets a bad wrap. Like oh we're just here to kind of use everybody else's great ideas. Right. So as you've gone down the path with six degrees, where do you see that circle of whether, you know it's a virtuosity or help of each other kind of coming back around?
Emily Merrell (18:42):
I think it happens so often, right? And I think it happens in such a authentic, and I'm gonna use both the buzzwords right now, authentic and organic way <laugh> where really people become friends first and then they're looking to plug each other in. I believe that every single person gets excited to help someone. Whether or not that's top of mind for them, but like when you say you're moving and you need a real estate agent, I'm like oh my God, let me find that real estate agent for you. I wanna be helpful, we all wanna be helpful. Mm-hmm <affirmative>. And so one of my favorite things to do during the in-person events is to leave myself unmatched and just walk around and kind of pop into the different conversations. And a lot of times they'll be like, did you know that we went to high school together and we're gonna collaborate, we're gonna create this whole offering now.
(19:31):
And like this is a 15 minute conversation and people are so jazzed about collaborating or doing something or I'm gonna have her on my podcast. So essentially I'm teeing up opportunities for people and I think they're helping each other because it's so easy. It's not like an unstructured networking event where you go and you have that guy, we've all been that guy, we've all met that guy or gal who has just been let go or is in a place of transition and all they want is a job and has his resume printed out and he's handing it out to people and you're like, oh it feels so desperate. Mm-hmm <affirmative> and it's reality. But I really truly believe in the motto of build your network when you aren't looking for anything and then tap it when you are. And it brings me joy to see the connections that happen organically or the collaborations that happen organically. I think that the ego part for me is like I always want the recognition back to me sometimes. Like you met at Six Degrees, just shout that out on Instagram. Okay. Yeah.
Stephanie Kruse (20:31):
Right.
Emily Merrell (20:32):
Yeah, it feels really good.
Stephanie Kruse (20:33):
That's awesome. Clearly it's grown quite a bit since you started it. When you think about your personal life and the transitions that you've made, whether, I know you've moved a few times, you obviously transition your relationships, you've become married, you're now a parent, you have had probably some challenges there that were unexpected. How do you show up in those moments and what's made the most difference to you in your personal life? Like if you wanna give me a an example of you know, maybe moving from San Francisco to Denver, right? Like you lived as a single woman and then a married a new mom and now you've come into this very new place as a completely different set of circumstances and family. How has that been?
Emily Merrell (21:17):
It's interesting cuz I'm a very gregarious, outgoing, have a lot of friends, have a lot of connections and whatnot. But I'm also wildly loyal and protective of my people. So my best friend lives in Denver now as well. She moved here from New York January same month as us. So it was a big push for us to move. Same with my sister, same with my mom. And it's funny just to tie it back to the business part of things, my best friend is like I will take a bullet for you but please never make me go to a networking event ever again. <laugh> and I don't wanna be on your podcast and I don't wanna be on your blog. And I'm like what <laugh>, what's my worth? Like this is my worth of giving. So I have these two different switches I have to turn on. There's like networking Emily and then there's the personal Emily and the personal Emily does not talk about my business and is I think more private in terms of like these are my close friends and they know me the closest but that doesn't mean that they wanna go to all my things.
(22:17):
She's like, I've paid my dues, I've supported you through the various things. <laugh>. Yeah. So the transition is cultivating this really trusted community of people who can lift you up when you're down. And I think San Francisco is definitely a lonely road for me. I had a few best friends there but I didn't have my family. And I think I told you on our initial call, my sister lives across the street from us now. Yes. And so we go for a morning walk and I see her every single day. She sees my son every single day and it's insane cuz we haven't lived in the same city together since I was 18 or same town. And having community, especially making community while you are going through these transitions is so valuable. I'll also shout out when I lived in San Francisco, while I didn't have my family around, one of my best friends and also a girl in my building, I befriended, she gave birth two months before me and they like brings me to tears thinking of how close we got over just the motherhood thing.
(23:19):
And I don't know if you felt this way with your kids too, but like that one person who sherpa'ed you forward, who was like, this is how you pump your boobs. Oh my God, thank you. I had no idea what this thing did and you know, he just like gave me permission cuz she was two months ahead of my son to do all the things that I was like, I don't know, is this the right thing? And she was my sounding board and it was so phenomenal. And I'm also part of like a million moms groups, but that real life connection mom group of that one individual like changed my whole postpartum experience.
Stephanie Kruse (23:54):
Yeah. I definitely had a friend or two that were in that same boat with me. And I think that was one of the things that was unexpected. I didn't know. And I lived far away from my family as well when I had my kids and still do. So you're so lucky to be close. And I think, you know, that pioneer spirit of going off on your own is great, but I think living close to family, you know, is really important for support systems for all kinds of reasons. But yes, I can still remember that feeling of bewilderment as a new mom and being totally intellectual about it and reading all the books and then being like, wait, how do I put this like naked, slippery, chubby baby into a bath and not like drop them, lose them. You know? Here I was like a fairly educated person but I felt like a complete dumbass <laugh>.
(24:49):
Like when it
(24:49):
Came to like just things I felt like could have been intuitive, but seeing my friends be just as lost and figuring it out and also not judging each other. I think that was so important of just kind of saying like, yeah, I don't know either. Here's what I'm trying. You know, only a few of us could be that honest with each other because in mom's groups it was performative, right? It becomes, oh you know Mary's walking little Joey's not what, oh well here are the five developmental milestones that you know, you get that kind of stuff.
Emily Merrell (25:20):
And if you're going, is my child okay like you put, is he? And then it's like autistic, this, this, this. Totally. And you're like oh my god I just doom spiraled for for way too long. Yeah. Yeah. It's so true. The performativeness of the groups like yeah everything's great, everything's amazing. Mm-hmm <affirmative> when yeah the realness of being like my nipples are so chopped right now. I think I'm gushing blood <laugh>, what do I do? Totally, totally. Oh my god takes me back. <laugh> good times. I feel like also just as like a quick squirrel with motherhood, there's so much stuff they don't tell you until you're literally like in the final month of pregnancy, even my girlfriend who's pregnant right now, I'm like okay and then you have your strep B test and she's like What's that? And I was like, you about the strep B test, huh? And I was like, you know, and then when you give birth the placenta comes out. Which Stephanie, if you had told me what a placenta was before I had a baby, I didn't know that we grew it. I knew people ate it but like I didn't understand you. I dunno, you're like
Stephanie Kruse (26:30):
All this is happening in my own body and I have no idea. It's really crazy that we're not given enough information and perhaps good because if we were, I don't know, maybe more
Emily Merrell (26:39):
People would be like pass.
Stephanie Kruse (26:41):
But no, I remember when we had our kids and I was older than you are then my husband and I were like having kids. Like this is why the average age of a new mother in the US was like 25 for years. It's now older than that. But I was 34 and I remember my husband and I like in sleepless nights with our first our daughter, we were like, this is why people are young and ignorant when we have kids like anybody who actually knew what to expect or have any, you know, age on them. We just shouldn't be doing it.
Emily Merrell (27:14):
<laugh>, we're too old for this. We would've been grandparents. Now if this is like Bridgerton times, basically we would be put out to pasture at this point. Oh
Stephanie Kruse (27:22):
No. Oh my gosh. So funny. But um, it's so true and I think it needs to be talked about more. So one of the things I wanna pivot a little bit cuz we could talk about motherhood a lot, of course that's a whole nother podcast for sure. But one of the things that you were talking about, some of the prep that we did that really hit me was you said, we are in various seasons of life there will be moments that feel like they're never going to end. And then there are moments that feel like life is happening to you but both of them pass. And when they do you realize you're stronger. And I love that because you know, and this does apply to motherhood for sure, but that idea that I am in the thick of this maybe discomfort, it feels endless or I've done X, y and z and all this stuff keeps happening that maybe sends me on a different direction than what I was hoping for. But once you get through it, you realize. So tell me about how you came to this wisdom.
Emily Merrell (28:23):
Well 2019 was my official dumpster fire year and hopefully my only dumpster fire year. I'm sure more dumpster fires will happen at some point. But May, 2019 we had an apartment fire and basically lost like most of our clothes, most of our property. Um, we were renting at the time and so we had to rebuild pretty quickly, move pretty quickly. And there was this moment where we were sitting outside and you know, the firemen had just left and they had brought out my bed and they'd brought out like my drawers and you could see my underwear hanging out and people were taking selfies as they walked by and you know, they're like, you can go in and you can collect what's what's salvageable. And so we put together like a big trash bag and then called an Uber to stay in a hotel. And I had just come home from the most fabulous whispering angel rose launch party.
(29:15):
So I was like dressed in a dress barefoot with my like signature leather jacket on. It had happened in the middle of the night and I had fallen asleep on the couch when it happened. So we have our dog, we have these trash bags, they give us like some sort of blanket and we call an Uber and the Uber driver refuses to take us and I'm like, oh my god, we look homeless, like we are homeless now. And so we get another Uber driver, we also smell terrible. And um, we get to the hotel that I had booked on hotel tonight and I had booked it I guess cuz it was like three in the morning at that point for that night. Not for the actual night that you were still in. Oh yeah, right. Yeah. Like we don't have any availability. And I was like, are you serious?
(29:59):
Like our house just burned down and they're like, sorry we're full. Luckily I knew the PR girl there. And so I sent her a very sternly worded, um, message and we got a refund and then we ended up going to a different hotel. So that was May. And then October we got married and in October, uh, the Sunday before our wedding, my stepdad choked on a piece of steak while we were up to dinner and was in a coma for the duration of the week, which was our wedding week. And our wedding was in the wine country. So we went up to wine country and he's in a coma, we're in wine country and then it's also unseasonably hot. And you know, San Francisco, there's a fire that just broke out and Oh no, it's fine. It's not close to you guys, it's not close to you.
(30:44):
Oh, it's getting closer to you, but don't worry, you're fine. The day of our wedding, I get dressed, I go down and I see my dad, like we do the weird dad daughter look. And my wedding planner who is seven months pregnant comes up to me and she's like, so the fire marshals here and he thinks we should evacuate. I'm literally 30 minutes to our ceremony. People are just arriving. And um, luckily like again sense of humor I think is so important in these types of moments. And I was like, all right, what would you do when she's like, I would evacuate. It's not mandatory now, but it will be later on and people will be drinking. And so one of my girlfriends who I met in fashion in New York City, grew up in St. Helen. Her mom had graciously offered to host our wedding at her house.
(31:33):
So 135 guests, caterer, flower, all the things moved over from Calistoga to St. Helen and we in an hour and a half people were knocking on neighbor's doors and asking for seats and they were raking because she had this like beautiful blank lot and they made a wedding happen. And that truly was like the most kindness I've ever felt in my entire life and my entire hypothesis that your community saves you <laugh> literally when you were, um, they did. So my wedding was beautiful and then the next three days later my stepdad ended up passing from the choking. He was 87. It was not to justify his death, but there was a lot of like blessings in that cause Covid was right around the corner and they had found cancer in him. So he went out doing exactly what he loved doing, eating steak and drinking champagne and it was a nice dinner. So anyway, yeah, we were at the airport waiting for our flight to go on our honeymoon when we got the news. So we came back, had a little memorial for him the next day and then flew out and I was like shaking on the flight. I was like, it's gonna go down. We're gonna die <laugh>, this is not our year. And all these little moments. Oh, I was also, I think I was sued that year too by a company called Six Degree Networking.
Stephanie Kruse (32:47):
Oh right, like copyright type thing. Yeah, yeah. Oh gosh. Yeah. Cause
Emily Merrell (32:50):
It sounded phonetically. So it was like all of the things where I just felt like I wanted to hide under a rock or something. But at the same time, Stephanie, it was probably the most special year of my life because so many beautiful things happened. I gotta get married and I gotta see my community really rally so fast forward 2020 and the pandemic happens. I'm like a busy body at the beginning of the year I'm traveling. I've already traveled to Mexico and LA three times and just like, this is gonna be my year. And then I'm told to sit down and shut the F up And I was like, okay, I've got this, this is nothing literally you're telling me to stay home. All right, let's just take my events and pivot them virtually. And it was truly the best year of my business. So I was able to launch my podcast. I was able to like really focus in a way that I hadn't given myself permission to. So it was the season of like terribleness that taught me that like 2020 being told to do nothing was such a godsend. And I think it gave me the resilience I needed.
Stephanie Kruse (33:57):
Wow. Thank you for sharing that. One of those events could have left you sort of in a corner in a fetal position. Right. And all of that, I mean it just reminds me of, you know, that saying like sometimes things happen to you and you may not be ready for them, but you meet them where they are and it takes you to a different place, which ends up being kind of a gift, right? And it's hard to see, I'm sure in those moments there's no way you could have anticipated number one, what was gonna happen next, number two, like how you were gonna be able to sort of survive and then end up thriving from what you learned from it. But I think that resilience clearly gave you a leg up to that next dumpster fire, which was kinda <laugh>, which really took a lot of people out, you know, I mean sadly literally, but also figuratively in terms of just what do I need and you know, how can I go forward in this moment where I told I can't do anything? So yeah, I mean you're gonna be good. You're gonna be married forever because you went through all that
Emily Merrell (35:02):
<laugh>. I mean so many moments where it's like, should we get married? Is this, are these signs? Um, but if anything it like made us love each other and, and know that we can go through these like really ridiculous things and overcome it. I'm very much an optimist in life. I'm like a golden retriever with the wheels on the back of its legs, <laugh> like, like still chasing the ball, still going after things. I'd rather see life from the positive than than the negative. Even though why's
Stephanie Kruse (35:32):
I agree with you, I completely agree with you. And why not? I mean the alternative doesn't sound very fun.
Emily Merrell (35:38):
The things I noticed, like in my body when I complain and or bitch about someone, like when I trash someone, it makes me feel sick. Like it makes me feel physically ill. I was like, oh my God, I said something negative about my friend. Let me say 10 positive things to counteract <laugh>.
Stephanie Kruse (35:55):
And I think too, like the other choice there, which I've started sort of trying to think about is instead of letting something happen that makes me feel negative, what if I'm just neutral? Yeah. I don't have to be negative about this thing that maybe I'm not really happy about or you know, I plan for it to go better than it did. But I don't have to let that own me. I can just sort of look at that and be kind of neutral and that's kind of a nice place to start from. Anyway, this has been such a great conversation and I have one last question for you, which is when you hear the phrase it's good enough for now, <laugh>, what does that evoke for you?
Emily Merrell (36:34):
It evokes my motto in life basically. I'm definitely, and this is something I've made peace with, I'm a b plus person in life. I'm not an a plus perfectionist. I'm not striving for, for Harvard of life. I'm striving for a good time and living my life to the fullest. So it's good enough for now is how I pretty much live my life. And you can dive into fixing it later if it needs to.
Stephanie Kruse (37:00):
I love it. I'm gonna take that one and put it in my pocket. Thank you <laugh>. I completely relate. It's like, which battles am I gonna fight here?
Emily Merrell (37:07):
It's something, and my clients say this a lot in my business coaching, they're like, you hold me tender and shove me at the same exact time. And there's that element of publish the god damn website already. Mm-hmm <affirmative> like you're about page is never gonna be perfect. And guess what? It's editable. Go go. Like, don't let the perfectionism hold you back from starting or doing the thing. You wanna, like
Stephanie Kruse (37:30):
Nobody cares as much as you do. No one else is gonna notice. Let that be freeing <laugh>.
Emily Merrell (37:36):
That always cracks me up when people are like, oh my God, I'm posting my social media today. Everyone's gonna judge me. And I'm like, I dunno about you. But when I look at a picture of you and me, Steph, I'm zooming in on me. Not on you.
Stephanie Kruse (37:47):
Yeah. <laugh> totally. <laugh> completely. Like, am I smiling? Is my hair weird? Like I, I mean you're perfect. It's me that I'm criticizing for sure. Always. Always. Yeah. Oh my gosh. So Emily, people probably wanna know more about how to get in touch with you. So can you tell our listeners where to find you?
Emily Merrell (38:08):
Yeah, please check us out at Six Degrees Society and then it is six spelled out. Follow me on social media. I'm Emily A. Merrell, m e r r e l l. I say like the shoes, not the bank. If you need to remember the spelling difference.
Stephanie Kruse (38:24):
<laugh>. Fantastic. And we'll put all that in his show notes as well. Thank you so much. This has been so fantastic. I could talk to you for days.
(38:37):
Thank you so much for joining me. Please share the show with your friends by word of mouth. Send them a text and baby leave a rating and review. It really helps people find good enough. For now. Don't forget to also follow on your favorite podcast player like Apple or Spotify so you can get new shows automatically each time they're released. You'll find show notes at Good enough for now, pod.com and you can connect on Instagram at good enough for now Pod. See you next time.
